Swimming through the Flood

I didn’t have to swim or get rescued but I did flood pretty badly and am still climbing out from underneath. On Dec. 27th I wrote in my journal, “It’s been an overwhelming day,” and then I did not write a thing since and the list of mayor’s hotline, FEMA, call insurance, get heat, hot water and other things topped the list. My child was with my ex and was safe. I was scared and afraid but not in real danger. The ocean surge did go to almost three feet in my basement and around my house. It was the first time I worried I’d have ocean water in my living room. The house is over 100 years old and I’ve been told it flooded in the Blizzard of 78. My child was on the first two night overnight with Dad and that was WONDERFUL. I think, had child been home with me it would have been very scary for child. As it was, we lost the car because the ocean was submerged. On day two I realized the washer and dryer were toast and on day three that the a/c was as well.

In sex addiction blog world I will say that I called my ex at 7am in the morning while water still was on our street. He was supportive and concerned and stepped into high gear to help. Because I was desperate and this wasn’t an “about us” mess, I was able to accept the help and I APPRECIATED IT!!! We ended up sleeping at his apartment for two days and he took a day off of work while I worked on getting the heat and hot water system in (both needed replacing and the heat is now suspended from the ceiling in case this isn’t just a one-hundred year flood). So, it was a bit of a turning point to accept help and to need and want and be grateful for it as well. We had always told child, “We’re still friends” and after I slept over at his apartment child said, “Maybe you’ll be friends who act like friends.” Even an eight-year old misses little!

So, that’s all I have time to post. Christmas was nice. Child had a blast and was as into giving as receiving. I don’t have any illusions about love and romance but it was nice to feel I was not alone and to be able to rely on my ex in a crisis. It wasn’t even that uncomfortable staying at his place. It was nice to see child so comfortable in the space. Plus, I was so tired, stressed and sleep-deprived I really needed the help. And that was the silver lining. Neighbors lent me a car and did laundry or let me use their machine. That I am still doing as we don’t have a washer or dryer in yet. I was able to get a car financed and though I LOVE to pre-pay as much as possible I was glad to have good credit and to be able to get a low rate on a car loan. I love my new used vehicle and while I wasn’t ready to give up old reliable which was without a car payment it was an old car. My brother let me use his car. My sister helped me care for child on vacation so I could make a zillion calls and my niece did the same. Friends took my child to do fun things so vacation wasn’t a total bust and the time wasn’t totally consumed by my money stress.

I was reminded that being warm is a luxury, having hot water is a luxury, having an auto is a luxury as is a washer and a dryer. People in disaster recovery helped me figure out what could and couldn’t be saved, what does and doesn’t need to be tossed and how much it would cost to have my basement professionally demolded. Anyhow, I’m back to work and still don’t have a Jan. calendar or a place to put the ornaments and have A LOT to clean in my basement and a washer and dryer to get and a lot of bills to pay that are not covered by insurance. I also have a lot and I mean A LOT of caring people in my life and one of them, as it turns out, is at least sometimes my ex which was a nice surprise. Finally, the important things (people, animal and pictures were safe) and so I’m relieved. And I’m SO SO SO glad to have therapy this week because I haven’t been in a month and I need to vent, cry and share.

I am embracing this new year. Oh, and when you have a flood, the fact that your divorce is 100% legal and official is a tiny after thought – at least if you are me. Happy New Year All!

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